All I can think of when I read the title is that chess computer from Lost season 3. Whenever it beat you, it went, "Ready to play" in a very computerized voice. Anyway, no, I won't play chess with you. I suck at it. Please let me kiss you instead. *gets slapped* I said please!
My Dearest Lady Luna, I could not possibly hope to match your wit at this game, so I shall hardly even try. I will however buy you your choice of whatever confectionery you desire, if it is within my monetary grasp.